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Walking/dragging my feet

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit reap eternal life." Gal. 6:7-8

I pretty much feel like I get in a 6 month cycle in the my life. For about 3 months I do well...I try to read my bible, meditate on scripture, and I try to pray throughout the day. For those three months my life is great (I don't have such a crappy attitude). Then something happens and around month 4 I've successfully stopped reading my bible praying and talking about/to God. Not only does this effect my personal spiritual life but I'm not fun to be around! I tend to be more negative and irritable and generally hate the world.
By month 6 I feel dry, distant, and miserable and I know it's all my fault due to my laziness. It's not that I don't have time to cultivate my spiritual life it's just that I'm not intentional with how I spend my time. I can get prayer and seek counsel blah blah blah but in the end the responsibility for my walk lands on my shoulders and frankly sometimes I don't care.

I'm currently at the end of my 6 month cycle and feel pretty crappy for being a douche bag (mostly to my husband). I went to the bible to get something that would point me in the right direction and the above scripture slapped me in the face.
For some reason I thought if I sow into the flesh I'll reap showers of blessings! Not. Turns out I have put forth some effort. And not just because I want my life to be great but because I should want to commune with my Lord. Is it such a chore to me?

I brought this up to my dad and amazingly he told me "There will be times where you think 'I don't give a rats butt I don't want to go to church'" lol...I was comforted by his words. The reality of being a christian is not as spiritual as I thought. After reading the above scripture I read this one
"For the flesh sets it's desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please." Gal. 5:17
I'm constantly feeling this war within, but instead of feeling guilty about it I must press on.
Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy.
I'm glad that He is my hope and my joy and pretty much everything in between. Well that's it for now, keep on keepin on.

Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 28, 2010 at 8:23 AM

    Not just you, girl!! We all struggle with this exact thing! Thanks for the encouragement!

    ReplyDelete

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