Life feels like a balancing act of transitions and lulls. When you throw offspring into the mix the transitions come at a faster rate. Each milestone that passes feels like a weight off my shoulders only to be replaced by the oncoming milestones. My child/children have taken precedence over everything for me. I am confident in my identity as a woman and my personal goals/career. On the other hand I feel a deep sense of responsibility to make sure my offspring is given the opportunity to explore themselves and the world. I don't want them to fall into the rat race of life. The dreaded american dream. There is so much more life has to offer. When will they ever learn to be human...rather humane if their time is occupied by a way of living that simply preoccupies the mind?
Depression kind of runs in my family. I've noticed living in a society that distracts us with consumerism, competition, "goals", etc. leaves those prone to depression feeling empty. We need spaces that allow us to question and explore the nature of our existence. And not just two hours a week at church or whatever. We can never hope to delve deep when we're always trying to get a bigger house or better car so we work more hours and see our loved ones less and less. Is this all we can hope for our existence? At the end of our lives will we find those pursuits worth all the time we devoted?
Yes I realize I'm writing this from my air conditioned home and my laptop that was paid for by a 9-5 jobby job. But this is something I've been thinking about for years and trying to figure out how my husband and I can get to a place that our occupations will come from our hearts and allow us to meet the basic needs our family will have. I now truly understand the motivation behind the hippie communes in the 70s. We don't want our kids to be machines...another brick in the wall. We want life and compassion and earth. But the hippies learned the tough lesson of this dream...hard f*cking work. Working on relationships, working the soil, working to survive. I know I'm rambling at this point. I say all that to say, I'm homeschooling Angel this next school year and I want to allow her genius to have the space to develop at it's own rate. But god*amn is it tough to be her bff, provider, and guide all in one. Parenthood...so much respect for those that came before us and are the reason we are here today!
Depression kind of runs in my family. I've noticed living in a society that distracts us with consumerism, competition, "goals", etc. leaves those prone to depression feeling empty. We need spaces that allow us to question and explore the nature of our existence. And not just two hours a week at church or whatever. We can never hope to delve deep when we're always trying to get a bigger house or better car so we work more hours and see our loved ones less and less. Is this all we can hope for our existence? At the end of our lives will we find those pursuits worth all the time we devoted?
Yes I realize I'm writing this from my air conditioned home and my laptop that was paid for by a 9-5 jobby job. But this is something I've been thinking about for years and trying to figure out how my husband and I can get to a place that our occupations will come from our hearts and allow us to meet the basic needs our family will have. I now truly understand the motivation behind the hippie communes in the 70s. We don't want our kids to be machines...another brick in the wall. We want life and compassion and earth. But the hippies learned the tough lesson of this dream...hard f*cking work. Working on relationships, working the soil, working to survive. I know I'm rambling at this point. I say all that to say, I'm homeschooling Angel this next school year and I want to allow her genius to have the space to develop at it's own rate. But god*amn is it tough to be her bff, provider, and guide all in one. Parenthood...so much respect for those that came before us and are the reason we are here today!
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