Let me be honest with myself

Lately I've been mulling over in my head my priorities and responsibilities. And I've realized that the two don't always match up, which is okay as long as I don't neglect the most important things at hand. So what are my priorities? Well as of right now I'm 24 years old and would really like to get serious about school but I have a SLIGHT problem...no money for it! I don't want to go to school for the same reason most of my former high school peers went. I actually like learning...a lot! Fortunately I have a husband who faithfully provides for me and our daughter so as of right now theres not a lot of pressure for me to go "get" a career. But I'm really trying to break this down in my head to understand why I would even consider doing a program in school that would take a lot of time away from raising my daughter. That brings me to what are my responsibilities? And right now theres only one face that I picture in my mind. From the day I held that...

jumping in head first: Home Education - "I Could Never Do That" : Since we took our kids out of the public school system two years ago I've answered a lot of questions and had many discussions with people c...

I am constantly having to ask myself "What is my life focused on?" I guess thats why it says "Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you] ." Rom. 12:2 I notice that if I don't DAILY put my mind on the Lord I get lost in a sea of irritations, philosophy, worldly knowledge, random bull such as you tube etc. This is the life of an american that has every necessity to sustain a comfortable life. We fight our wandering minds. But can we even do that? Or do we simply let things "go with the flow" and allow whatever comes our way to determine our focus? I've decided no. I won't allow this anymore. I ment...

So growing up I wasn't taught to "question" things. If I questioned people or ideas my dad would say I was being "rebellious" and probably prayed really hard for me in the wee hours of the morning. I guess as parents our desire isn't to raise a monster that will think on it's own and question things. We want a little protege who will love and learn everything we do. Right? At least thats what I think happens when we become "parents" (which I still don't have a grasp on that concept). Anyway I didn't learn to question people and ideas from being a rebellious teenager...actually I learned to conform as a teenager. After marrying a very intelligent white boy I observed his thinking and began to see thought progressions that didn't follow social norms and wasn't limited by traditions/ideas that were passed on from his parents. I saw the beginnings of questioning authority and loved that it wasn't out of anger or violence but...

I was talking to Aaron the other day and I told him "You know it's amazing how removing distractions in our lives and things that desensitize us can all the sudden make us more sensitive to the enemies subtle attacks." When I find myself being sassy like a girl in a movie I watched I realize...wait a second why am I acting this way? Turns out the things I do watch and listen to have an affect on me! A few days later a friend of ours said "I felt convicted to stop listening to secular music because I realized that it influences me especially when I sing the words. I believe our words have power, just as the bible says they do." I honestly don't believe it is necessary to give up your TV, IPOD, Computer etc. BUT I do think it helps our spirit when we weed out unhealthy influences through those devices. Make sense? Anyway I was praying the other day and felt so convicted because on our trip to c-stone I was being condescending to some of the kids. Some would te...

"Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey it's lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God . For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law, but under grace." Romans 5:12-14 So recently I watched Don't Need You Anymore: The Herstory of Riot Grrrl and it really reminded me of my passion for building up the female side of the body of Christ. There are so many issues specific to women that are dear to me because of my testimony and where God has brought me from. I have a few of those issues in mind while writing this so bear with me hopefully I'll make sense. The above scripture can mean different things for men and women but it's pretty similar I think. Our lusts range from food to sex to alcohol/addictions and God is very aware of every last o...

I'm pretty sure I'm not preggo. So me being extremely impatient with people who tell me what to do/NOT to do isn't making sense! In the past week I've chewed out two strangers/cashiers! I'm feeling like God is drawing out the things that are in my heart and exposing my horrible attitude I have most of the time. It's pretty humbling to see how much of a jerk I can really be. Though it's bad that I'm a d-bag to strangers it's helping me see how desperately I need to be lead by the Spirit and not my emotions. This is a first for me. I'm so used to being over run by my big mouth and emotions that stopping to think about what I do/say is totally foreign. My husband has been trying to tell me this for years but this is the first time I've asked God to help me deal with MYSELF no matter what the cost. It's scary honestly. I've already failed! But I know that the more I let go the more God can lead. I have to tell myself CHILL. lol. This may ...