Let me be honest with myself

"Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey it's lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God . For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law, but under grace." Romans 5:12-14 So recently I watched Don't Need You Anymore: The Herstory of Riot Grrrl and it really reminded me of my passion for building up the female side of the body of Christ. There are so many issues specific to women that are dear to me because of my testimony and where God has brought me from. I have a few of those issues in mind while writing this so bear with me hopefully I'll make sense. The above scripture can mean different things for men and women but it's pretty similar I think. Our lusts range from food to sex to alcohol/addictions and God is very aware of every last o...

I'm pretty sure I'm not preggo. So me being extremely impatient with people who tell me what to do/NOT to do isn't making sense! In the past week I've chewed out two strangers/cashiers! I'm feeling like God is drawing out the things that are in my heart and exposing my horrible attitude I have most of the time. It's pretty humbling to see how much of a jerk I can really be. Though it's bad that I'm a d-bag to strangers it's helping me see how desperately I need to be lead by the Spirit and not my emotions. This is a first for me. I'm so used to being over run by my big mouth and emotions that stopping to think about what I do/say is totally foreign. My husband has been trying to tell me this for years but this is the first time I've asked God to help me deal with MYSELF no matter what the cost. It's scary honestly. I've already failed! But I know that the more I let go the more God can lead. I have to tell myself CHILL. lol. This may ...

The Lord is God The Lord is true The Lord does not falter Who are we to say who God is and what He is capable of? It's amazing to me that our understanding and revelation of God comes from Him! I've met many people who don't get it. They don't get God. And I wonder "Why is it hard for them to see what is seemingly undeniable?". Time and time again God reminds me that He chooses us first. He determines what we see (spiritually speaking). I don't want to get into the debate of calvinism/predestination and all that, but I do feel that I'm being reminded of scripture. " This is what God the LORD says— the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out, who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it: “I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the peop...

I have to get this out to try and process what God has been speaking to me! I don't want to forget what my focus is. "I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me." Prov. 8:17 "Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." Matt.22:37 Outside of prayer and meditation I rarely step outside of myself to see if I'm centered around Christ. When I don't take the time to pray at least once during the day I find myself being very fleshly driven. Easily angered, easily offended, focused on earthly things and not paying any attention to where my mind is going. The longer I put off pursuing the Lord the worse off I am. I allow myself to harshly judge friends/family, get annoyed with stupid things and ultimately alienate myself from Gods spirit. Not to mention all the sin that goes on in my heart the struggles that seem to overwhelm me. In the grand scheme of things this ridicul...

Wow it's been awhile! I haven't been on here because things got a little busy : ) I'm in school trying to figure out the route that God wants me to take and also trying to raise my energetic gorgeous daughter! As always things have been up and down but the Lord is always faithful and carries me through my bad decisions haha. I'm currently reading the ragamuffin gospel in my ladies bible study and it really has spoken to my heart about issues that I thought I understood (turns out I don't know jack, who woulda thunk?). The reoccurring theme in the book (like the bible) is grace. God's amazing, immeasurable, almost incomprehensible grace. Frankly grace has been a slap in the face for me. Grace has told me that I don't know everything and NEVER will, and that I should rest in faith instead of being frustrated with the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than yours and my thoughts than your thoughts."...

You can have all your physical needs met but if you're dying spiritually you will NEVER find rest. It doesn't matter how many vacations you take or "get away" outings or even spa trips...you can feel yourself dying and theres nothing you can do about it. More often than normal I've been questioning why I believe what I believe; how it is that I can tell people "I believe in an invisible being and I talk to Him but it pretty much looks like I'm talking to myself oh and by the way He sent His "son" to this earth a couple thousand years ago to die for us and stuff". I've come to the conclusion that I'm crazy. I have to be...to believe what I believe. But that's okay I think. The people that I really look up to were seen as crazy John the baptist Paul the apostle JESUS oh let's just throw in the entire early church I'd go so far as to say if you're not prepared to lose your mind don't be a christian. Don't read t...

So my sociology class is awesome! Not the teacher really but the material is good stuff. It's opened my eyes to the possibilities in my future. I intended on becoming a nurse to become a supporter or advocate for midwifery but the more I'm looking into the role sociologists play the more I'm realizing that what I want to do is more sociological. For instance I've just spent the last hour looking up medical journals about the effects of midwifery being removed from hospitals on western society. I'm SO intrigued by all the studies that have been done and are being done in this area of the medical field. I love the idea of studying the effects of hospitals influence on women in american society and the questions of "Is pregnancy pathology or just a risk of pathology? Should pregnant women be treated as patients during their labor or should they have more control?" etc etc. For me the instinctual aspect of birth really drives me to want to study it further and...