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What is wrong with me?!

I'm pretty sure I'm not preggo. So me being extremely impatient with people who tell me what to do/NOT to do isn't making sense! In the past week I've chewed out two strangers/cashiers! I'm feeling like God is drawing out the things that are in my heart and exposing my horrible attitude I have most of the time. It's pretty humbling to see how much of a jerk I can really be. Though it's bad that I'm a d-bag to strangers it's helping me see how desperately I need to be lead by the Spirit and not my emotions. This is a first for me. I'm so used to being over run by my big mouth and emotions that stopping to think about what I do/say is totally foreign. My husband has been trying to tell me this for years but this is the first time I've asked God to help me deal with MYSELF no matter what the cost. It's scary honestly. I've already failed! But I know that the more I let go the more God can lead. I have to tell myself CHILL. lol. This may sound like a dumb post but for reals...this is hard for me. I'm tired of being fake...I want to love the way God commands me to. That kind of love doesn't come easily but I know picking up my cross is the only way. I feel like I'm speaking in parables so I'll cut this short. I will keep pressing on, thank you Lord for your grace!!

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