So after discovering being pregnant, my world began to rapidly change. I unknowingly began to "prepare" myself to live in the most sacrificial way I had ever experienced. Everyone experiences becoming a mother differently, some women at the first sight of their child cry, some laugh, some feel at peace, and some don't feel very much at all. I happened to be one who laughed, I laughed while in a state of shock when my baby was born! I really didn't expect a baby to come out of me I just thought my pain would eventually subside but my brain in no way understood that a human being would enter into this world and depend on me to take care of it. My transition into motherhood was my inner realization that >I AM A WOMAN<. Why? Because I realized that my being a woman resulted in me doing things my husband couldn't! I didn't feel like just anyone in the world, not a child, not a man, not even a young lady...I felt like a being that was given the responsibility and capacity to bring forth life aka A woman.
I felt the epiphany that a woman is a leader, a force, a source, an individual and yet a cornerstone on which units are built, and made in the image of God.
Motherhood/Womanhood has been an experience that has completely undone me from the inside out. It has forced me to question everything from my religion, to my ideas of education, to parenting, and ultimately how I want to contribute to society through living my life. It was as if the realization of my responsibilities all came rushing in and I knew that I couldn't f*ck around anymore. Being honest and transparent and most of all striving to be humble became my top priorities. I still value all three of those things and as I'm writing this I feel at peace knowing that I don't have to fear failure I simply need remember what is most important in life. My days of judging have become fewer because I realize my life and example will have an effect on my daughter, but will it be positive or negative? Will she learn compassion from me or intolerance?
Really what womanhood has done for me is strip me down to core life values. My eyes have slowly been opened to the corruption that is all around us and yet the purity that thrives through families and loving human beings. I now feel a universal connection to women and mothers everywhere that I never knew possible. I feel so blessed to be given this gift and even though the daily grind can be mind numbing sometimes, I know that this is the best place I can be in my life. To be continued....
I felt the epiphany that a woman is a leader, a force, a source, an individual and yet a cornerstone on which units are built, and made in the image of God.
Motherhood/Womanhood has been an experience that has completely undone me from the inside out. It has forced me to question everything from my religion, to my ideas of education, to parenting, and ultimately how I want to contribute to society through living my life. It was as if the realization of my responsibilities all came rushing in and I knew that I couldn't f*ck around anymore. Being honest and transparent and most of all striving to be humble became my top priorities. I still value all three of those things and as I'm writing this I feel at peace knowing that I don't have to fear failure I simply need remember what is most important in life. My days of judging have become fewer because I realize my life and example will have an effect on my daughter, but will it be positive or negative? Will she learn compassion from me or intolerance?
Really what womanhood has done for me is strip me down to core life values. My eyes have slowly been opened to the corruption that is all around us and yet the purity that thrives through families and loving human beings. I now feel a universal connection to women and mothers everywhere that I never knew possible. I feel so blessed to be given this gift and even though the daily grind can be mind numbing sometimes, I know that this is the best place I can be in my life. To be continued....
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