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Christ's suffering

This topic has always been one that hits me hard. Mostly because I've secretly adopted the prosperity gospel. So you know when the going gets tough I'm overwhelmed by all the scriptures that talk about suffering, especially those concerning people "blessed" by God. You know the whole Job story and many others like it...Jesus' entire life is also a good example.

Many of my battles have been internal (emotional,psychological etc.). So if you would look at me on the outside you might think, "Whats the big deal? You got a roof over your head and health...what else is there?". But unfortunately the longer I'm on this earth the more I realize that a roof over your head and health just don't cut it. There is far more to the human experience than we give credit.
So I realized today while reading a scripture, I've read numerous times, that I've always liked the prosperity gospel. I've secretly believed that if I gave God my everything that I would end up emotionally satisfied, physically fit, and pretty much be perfect. Perfect marriage, perfect sanity, perfect family, perfect church etc. etc. I mean this sounds ridiculous but really I thought all this underneath it all. But the Holy Spirit gave me a gentle reality check. What I really feel like He did was give me a choice. The scripture that brought this on is found in Matthew 7...read the whole chapter if you can it's gold.

Matthew 7:13-14 The Amplified Bible "Enter through the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and spacious and broad is the way that leads away to destruction, and many are those who are entering through it. But the gate is narrow (contracted by pressure) and the way is straitened and compressed that leads away to life, and few are those who find it."

Narrow? Contracted by pressure? What the heck does that mean?
So I took it upon myself to look up the greek word for narrow and this is what I found

"thlee'-bo; to crowd (lit. or fig.)- afflict, narrow, throng, suffer tribulation, trouble."


Holy. Crap.



I was stunned. My heart was exposed. And what I found was a desire to never suffer. Ever.
So I felt the Holy Spirit matter of factly say "This isn't the easy road. This isn't the fun road. But this is the road that leads to life." And God in His graciousness and soverignty is asking me if this is still something I want.


Do I willingly want to suffer even after I give Him my all?
Growing up doesn't seem to get any easier so I know this is a serious decision I'm faced with. And I need to be aware of it EVERY DAY.





Really right now I don't have an answer. I kind of feel like I don't need to answer but just open my eyes to the things that are buried in my heart.

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